


Love in 64-bit

by carolion



Category: American Idol RPF, Super Mario Bros.
Genre: Crack, Dreams, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-08
Updated: 2012-12-08
Packaged: 2017-11-20 14:41:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 869
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/586485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carolion/pseuds/carolion
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>David is having the weirdest dream right now. (AKA The Worst Thing I Have Ever Written)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love in 64-bit

**Author's Note:**

> I can't remember why wrote this, but I sort of love it. And by love it I mean what the fuck was I thinking?

"Something isn't right," David mutters out loud, glancing around at his surroundings.

For one, he isn't in his bedroom anymore, which he is (relatively) sure is where he passed out after his late night with the guys. He's in some sort of weird forest type of thing, but it feels...off. Sort of flat, almost two-dimensional. Secondly, he's wearing a _really_ stupid outfit - a white shirt and red (red?!) overalls. Oh and his upper lip feels sort of itchy and fuzzy - itchier and fuzzier than usual. It seems like his mustache has gone from 'controlled sexy stubble' to an actual growth above his upper lip.

"Where am I? How drunk was I?" he asks incredulously, spinning in a circle. Then he sees something even _weirder._

It's a ship. But it isn't in water, it's just - sort of resting on the ground. And it's an old fashioned, pirate-y kind of ship, the kind he's read about in books, or seen duplicate miniature models of in museums.

"Okay. This is a dream. This is a whisky induced dream, and I just have to - go along with it until I wake up," he tells himself calmly, blinking at the too-bright colors of the trees and the sky and the clouds.

"Cook!"

Wait a second... That sounds like Archie! David looks back at the pirate ship, and sees a small figure leaning over the side, frantically waving at him. It is Archie!

"Archie!" David yells, running closer to the ship, "What are you doing here?"

"I don't know!" Archie shouts back. David is close enough now that he can make out Archie's face above him, and the fact that he seems to be weary a puffy pink dress, and a crooked golden tiara.

"Um," David says, perplexed. "Archie, you're in a dress. Why are you in a dress?"

Archie rolls his eyes. "I don't know! I don't know where I am or why I'm wearing a dress! Do you?"

"I think I'm dreaming," David explains, still calm. "I wonder if my subconscious thinks you crossdressing is hot."

Archie folds his arms across his chest and scowls down at David. "Cook," he accuses. "That's not very appropriate."

David scrubs at his beard thoughtfully, reaching up to stroke his new mustache. "This doesn't _feel_ like one of 'those' dreams though. Usually in 'those' dreams you're just naked." He grins at Archie unashamedly, figuring that, since this is a dream, it wouldn't hurt Archie to admit that to him. "Sorry," he apologizes anyway.

Archie blushes and for a minute David thinks, yeah, maybe he can see the appeal of Archie in a dress - even though he'd way rather just get him naked and do dirty things to him.

"Ew," someone else says from behind him, "Please do not flirt with your little pseudo-sort-of-boyfriend in front of me like that. I might be ill."

David spins around and sees Andrew, clad in a similar white shirt and overalls, only his are green, standing behind him wearing an annoyed expression.

"Andrew!" he exclaims, frowning a little. "Okay, you never show up in my sex dreams. Fuck, what kind of dream _is_ this?"

"Are you sure it's a dream?" Andrew asks, grinning at him. He's got a stupid mustache too.

"Will you please tell me what's going on?" David demands.

"Bro, does any of this look familiar to you?" Andrew gestures to their surroundings - to the fluffy, perfect, almost sickly-bright green trees, and the strange pipes and tubes sticking up from the ground, and those weird bright walls, and the floating... pirate...ship...

He looks down at his red overalls. His mustache tickles. He looks over to Andrew in his green overalls, and then finally looks up at Archie in his pink dress in the pirate ship.

"Oh you have got to be kidding me," David groans.

"Cook! Oh my gosh! What is _that!_ " Archie yells, flailing at the railing of the ship as some kind of dragon-turtle-monster hybrid thing appears on the ship's deck and starts to cackle in a typically maniacal, evil way.

" _Muahahaha!_ " The thing laughs. "I've got your Princess! And now you have to come and get her!"

" _I'm not a her!_ " David hears Archie yelp indignantly, but before he can stop it, the ship is levitating and floating far away, taking the monster-thing and Archie with it. The last thing he hears is Archie shouting for David to help him.

"Pieces falling into place yet?" Andrew asks beside him.

"Mario Brothers? Really? Why are you Luigi?" David turns on him, glaring.

"Because I'm taller, obviously," Andrew explains, stroking his own mustache. "And because I don't have a fair Princess Peach to rescue."

"This is the worst dream I've ever had," David grouses. "What do I have to do to save Archie?"

Andrew rolls his eyes and pushes David a few steps forward. "Hel- _lo_ , haven't you ever played this game before? Beat all the levels, the castles, and the bosses, and you'll get your Princess back."

" _He's not a Princess!_ " David tries to protest, but there's a goomba scuttling towards them and if he doesn't jump fast - well, he doesn't want to find out what dying is like in this video-game-dream fusion he's having.


End file.
